Save to Pinterest The skillet was still crackling when I realized I'd stumbled onto something ridiculous. I had leftover jalapeños from a party, cream cheese going soft in the fridge, and a craving that wouldn't quit. What started as cleanup duty turned into one of those happy accidents where you taste the sauce straight from the spoon and immediately text three people about it. This pasta doesn't apologize for being rich, and it shouldn't.
I made this for my brother after he said he didn't like spicy food, which was a lie he'd been telling himself for years. He finished his plate, then stood at the stove scraping the skillet with a fork while pretending to look for leftovers. Now he asks for it every time he visits, and I've learned to double the batch because he eats like a vacuum cleaner.
Ingredients
- Penne or rotini pasta: These shapes grab onto the sauce like they were designed for it, and the ridges hold little pockets of melted cheese in every bite.
- Bacon: Chop it small so it crisps up fast and renders enough fat to build flavor into the base of the sauce.
- Jalapeños: Roasting them under the broiler takes away the vegetal sharpness and leaves behind a smoky sweetness that doesn't overpower.
- Garlic and onion: These two are the backbone, so don't skip the onion even if you're tempted, it adds a mellow depth that balances the heat.
- Butter and flour: The roux thickens the sauce and keeps it from breaking, so whisk it well and let it cook for a full minute to lose that raw flour taste.
- Whole milk: It creates a silky base that melts the cheeses without turning grainy, and it's worth using the full-fat kind here.
- Cream cheese: This is what makes the sauce taste like a jalapeño popper, so let it soften on the counter before you start cooking.
- Cheddar and Monterey Jack: Shred them yourself if you can, the pre-shredded stuff has anti-caking agents that make the sauce gritty.
- Smoked paprika: It adds a layer of warmth and a hint of campfire that ties everything together.
- Panko breadcrumbs: Toast them in a dry pan until golden, they add the crispy top that makes you feel like you're eating something way fancier than pasta.
Instructions
- Boil the pasta:
- Cook it in heavily salted water until it still has a little bite, because it will soften slightly when you toss it in the sauce. Drain it and leave it in the colander while you build the sauce.
- Roast the jalapeños:
- Lay the sliced jalapeños cut side up on a baking sheet and slide them under the broiler for 3 to 4 minutes until the edges char and blister. The kitchen will smell like summer and smoke.
- Crisp the bacon:
- Cook the chopped bacon in a large skillet over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until it's crispy and the fat has rendered out. Move the bacon to a paper towel and leave about a tablespoon of fat in the pan.
- Sauté the aromatics:
- Toss the onion into the hot bacon fat and let it soften for 2 minutes, then add the garlic and stir for another minute until it smells like everything good in the world. Don't let the garlic brown or it will taste bitter.
- Make the roux:
- Drop in the butter and let it melt into the onions, then whisk in the flour and cook it for a full minute, stirring constantly. It should look like a pale paste and smell faintly nutty.
- Add the milk:
- Pour the milk in slowly while whisking to keep lumps from forming, then bring it to a gentle simmer. Let it bubble and thicken for about 3 minutes, whisking occasionally.
- Melt in the cheese:
- Turn the heat to low and add the cream cheese, cheddar, Monterey Jack, smoked paprika, and black pepper, stirring until everything melts into a smooth, glossy sauce. Taste it and add salt if it needs it, which it probably will.
- Combine everything:
- Stir in the roasted jalapeños and half the bacon, then add the cooked pasta and toss until every piece is coated. The sauce should cling to the noodles like a warm, cheesy hug.
- Serve hot:
- Plate it up and top each serving with the remaining bacon, a handful of toasted panko, and a sprinkle of fresh chives if you have them. Serve it immediately while the sauce is still molten.
Save to Pinterest The first time I served this at a dinner party, someone asked if I'd ordered it from a restaurant. I didn't correct them right away because I wanted to savor the compliment, but then I admitted I'd been standing in my kitchen in sweatpants an hour earlier. Food that tastes this indulgent doesn't need to be complicated, it just needs a little attention and cheese.
How to Adjust the Heat
If you're nervous about spice, start with two jalapeños instead of four and remove every seed and white membrane you can find. The heat lives in those parts, and once they're gone, you're left with the flavor and almost none of the fire. You can always add more heat with a pinch of cayenne or a few dashes of hot sauce at the table, but you can't take it back once it's in the pot.
Make It Ahead
You can make the sauce a day in advance and keep it in the fridge in an airtight container, just reheat it gently on the stove with a splash of milk to bring it back to life. Cook the pasta fresh when you're ready to serve, because reheated pasta never has the same texture. Toss everything together right before eating, and no one will know you cheated on the timing.
Variations Worth Trying
If you want to make this vegetarian, skip the bacon entirely and lean hard into the smoked paprika for that smoky depth. Add sautéed mushrooms for umami, or stir in a handful of spinach at the end for color and a little virtue. For extra protein, toss in diced rotisserie chicken or cooked shrimp, both of which soak up the sauce like they were born for it.
- Swap Monterey Jack for pepper jack if you want even more heat without adding more jalapeños.
- Top with crumbled cotija cheese instead of panko for a tangy, salty finish.
- Use gluten-free pasta and a gluten-free flour blend for the roux to make it celiac-friendly without losing any richness.
Save to Pinterest This is the kind of pasta that makes people lean back in their chairs and sigh, the good kind of sigh that means they're too full and too happy to care. Make it when you need comfort with a little kick, and don't be surprised when it becomes the recipe people ask you to bring to everything.
Recipe FAQ
- → How do I adjust the spice level?
Reduce heat by using fewer jalapeños or removing all seeds and membranes before roasting. For a milder version, substitute with poblano peppers or omit jalapeños entirely while keeping the smoked paprika for flavor depth.
- → Can I make this vegetarian?
Absolutely. Simply omit the bacon and increase the smoked paprika to 1 teaspoon for enhanced flavor. Consider adding crispy fried onions or toasted nuts for textural contrast and richness.
- → What's the best way to prevent a lumpy sauce?
Whisk the milk gradually into the roux while cooking, ensuring constant whisking to incorporate smoothly. Keep heat at medium to avoid scorching. Bring to a gentle simmer rather than a rolling boil.
- → Can I prepare this ahead of time?
Cook pasta and sauce separately up to 4 hours ahead, storing refrigerated. Reheat sauce gently on low heat with a splash of milk before combining with pasta. Add fresh garnishes just before serving for best texture.
- → What pasta shapes work best?
Penne and rotini are ideal for trapping the creamy sauce. Farfalle, rigatoni, or fusilli also work well. Avoid delicate shapes like angel hair that may become mushy when coated.
- → What wine pairs well with this dish?
Crisp Sauvignon Blanc cuts through the richness beautifully, while a cold lager complements the spice and bacon. Avoid heavy reds that can clash with the heat from jalapeños.
